Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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