My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize
