it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize