He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
