you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
