hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
