You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
