Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
