so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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