I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
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