I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just high enough for therapy.
I fill condoms, not promises.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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