That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
