Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
