omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
