We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
