remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you had me at cake vodka
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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