I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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