why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
