Just cropdusted the office
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
