Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
