thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Randomize
