My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
