No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
