You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
even my farts smell like vagina
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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