some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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