First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No subtext here. People are naked.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
