dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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