So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
