yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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