I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize