we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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