I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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