the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
