You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
id be glad to
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize