Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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