whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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