need another drink. this is the easiest way
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
