We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
