You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
