Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
