wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
