Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize