She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
