I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize