it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We got so high we made milksteak
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
