No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
they're like a gay fantastic four
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
