Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
