Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Randomize
