Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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