chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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