Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
