I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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