I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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