We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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