He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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