Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
