I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i out mim tonsoeep
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
