They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
