I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
