ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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