I think I died a long time ago.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So squirting runs in the family.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
