apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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