You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just found puke in my bra..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dicks are not precious.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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